The Dicks of Rock & Roll….(literally)
Sid Vicious (born John Simon Ritchie 10 May 1957 – 2 February 1979) is most notably known for being the over the top bassist in “The Sex Pistols,” and while he didn’t start the on-stage movement to show his penis to the crowd, he is most certainly one of my favorites.
You see, rock & roll has always had it’s share of cock exposing musicians, and for whatever reason, it makes us what to listen to their music even more – perhaps, it’s penis envy – or it’s an act of pure fucking freedom. To me, it just makes me wanna suck em, but then again I am a big old whore.
So I decided that I was going to burn through the Internet and find some of the hottest (and um some interesting) photographs of rock stars that have showed us their junk, and put them all here in one BIG (well some of them) collection.
Before I begin, I just want to say that I believe in the freedom of artistic expression – so anyone at anytime can feel free to show me their penis, and I will not be offended. I pretty much feel like that showing me one’s genitals (at times) may be like showing a Big Mac to a starving kid in a third world country, but alas – if you got it – flaunt it.
So who made the list of penis showing rock stars? Tons! Am I going to show you? OF COURSE! Why am I making you read this, because I don’t want you to think I wrote this just to show you a bunch of famous peckers, this is real rock and roll! That Justin kid ain’t going to get naked on stage, I promise you that – and well, none of the “cookie cutter” auto-tuned bullshit artists aren’t going to go balls out on stage either. It’s a purist market in the music industry, and music is no longer an act of social expression – it’s a sugar coated message about the same themes: money, booty, and the conquest of love. It’s boring, and doesn’t have any testosterone to it anymore, and frankly that is why I celebrate the guys who not only have the BALLS to create good music, but aren’t afraid to let them hang for all of us to see. Ok, let’s start the tour:
Speaking of balls….”Queens of the Stone Age” Bassist Nick Oliveri isn’t afraid to show that he has some low hangers (one lower than the other) while at the mic in concert, and frankly, we aren’t sure if he should get that checked or if he hasn’t busted one out when this pic was taken in about 300 days. Either way, this is the most BALLS OUT you can get!
(Above) Nick Oliveri bares ass on stage during the concert. Next up is one of my personal favorites, Warren Bruce Cuccurullo (born December 8, 1956 in Brooklyn, New York) is an American rock musician who worked with Frank Zappa, was a founding member of Missing Persons, and has been a long term member of Duran Duran. He also has some notoriety in the porn industry after making nude appearances in a magazine and self-released films for a few years in the early 2000s. We found more photos of him naked than we could post here, so we just shoved him into his own gallery! BTW, yes – this makes me “Hungry Like The Wolf,” and HOLY SHIT his dick is huge! ARRrrrooooooo!!!!
It’s far from over, and of course after checking out everything that Warren gave us – let’s look at some other rock stars who chose to become rebels on stage, and show us more than just their musical instruments. Case in point, remember that song “Boom Boom Boom, Let’s Go Back To My Room?” Yeah, good old Paul Lekakis shows us his goodies in a shot, because after all if you are a one hit wonder you may as well start doing porn, and that is exactly what Paul did. Um, Paul – exactly what room in the back is yours, because I’ll be there in four milliseconds!
Gay music icon George Michael is a “Father Figure” to many with his “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” 80′s hits, and of course his controversial love affairs that wind up in public restrooms. It’s ok though, because when George isn’t busy tapping his feet when police officers go into the stall next to his, he is sunbathing nude for all to see.
Impressive George, hope you are using sunscreen baby! Next up we have something HOT… and we mean “Red Hot”…. yeah, it’s Flea from the “Red Hot Chili Peppers” who has whipped out his dick more times than a frat boy seeking beads during Marti Gra. We aren’t sure why they call him Flea, because he isn’t packing a little bug.
Yeah, forget the bug spray, that Flea could suck the juices out of me any day. *snicker* Alright rock-n-roll fans, up next we have some thing we are not sure to be proud of, simply because it’s 800 years old and probably has been in hundreds of thousands of holes. All we can thing of is “OLD BALLS” but hey, it’s a rock star – and it’s a dick, so here it is…. Steven Tyler:
Really Steven, we think you ought to keep doing your gig on American Idol, and stop showing off your American Bandstand. Alas, at least it’s not a micro-penis. Speaking of, anyone want to check out Billy Joe Armstrong from “Green Day,” now here is a toothpick you can use to pick loose meat out from between your teeth after a steak dinner:
Masturbation has just lost it’s fun….. and that fills us with Rage, which brings us to “Rage Against The Machine,” which has enough cock to fill us – so we aren’t going to get in their way. I hope the PMRC brought enough lubricant, cause some of those dicks could do major damage:
Notice we said “some,” not all – but hey, there are growers and not showers… so you never know what surprise is in store when the RAGER comes on, and is standing at full attention! Perry Farrell from “Janes Addiction” is not shy about showing off his “A-Dick-Tion” on stage, and well – as you can tell, he’s been caught stealing a sausage from somewhere:
McFly are an English pop-rock band who first found fame in 2004. The band consists of Tom Fletcher (lead vocals, guitar and piano), Danny Jones (lead vocals and guitar), Dougie Poynter (backing vocals and bass guitar) and Harry Judd (drums). They were signed to the Island Records label from their 2004 launch until December 2007, before creating their own label, Super Records. The band rose to fame after fellow boyband Busted helped launch them by inviting them to tour in March 2004. They also have a rather naughty band mate who can’t keep his clothes on, and that is alright with us:
Why are you covering up the goods? Must have just gotten out of the pool… hello…. McFly….. helloooooo! Geeze, go “Back To The Future,” and get yourself some balls…. lol! Cisco Sam Adler (born September 6, 1978) is an American musician and former frontman for the band Whitestarr, and he also likes to show off his cock-n-balls…. yeah, when we think Cisco we want Crisco….. lube it up:
Um, can we have that sausage with a side of humongous nuts please? Jesus Christ, talk about the cumshot that travelled around the world, those things are weapons of ASS DESTRUCTION! The reason his band is called “Whitestarr,” is because with the size of his balls, he can jizz all the way to outer space, so everyone carry your cumbrellas. I’m punny.
Alien Ant Farm is an American alternative rock band that formed in Riverside, California, United States, in 1995. Dryden Mitchell, the bands frontman, can’t seem to keep his dick in his pants – and well, you can find him all over the Internet showing his meat. We’d like him to be “Smooth” in our “Criminal,” but alas – we can only dream:
I am going to change my name to Annie, so that when “I was struck by, I was hit by” this Smooth Criminal – I would not be ok. I’d be split the fuck open like I was attacked by a logger, and left with a smoking anus for a couple of months. Anyone seen my Tucks?
Dwarves is an American punk band formed in Chicago, Illinois, as The Suburban Nightmare, in the mid-1980s. They are currently based in San Francisco, California. Formed as a garage punk band, their career subsequently saw them move in a hardcore direction before settling into an eclectic punk rock sound. They have been described as “one of the last true bastions of punk rock ideology in the contemporary musical age”. Not to mention that “He Who Cannot Be Named,” loves to get naked – and he is not suffering from Dwarfism:
If only I could get up on that stage and….. never mind. Up next, it’s time to get DIRTY with Michael “Dirt” Hindert (born 8 August 1980) who is the bass guitarist of the New York rock/electronica band The Bravery. Yes, Dirt likes to be filthy, and well we want our faces to be covered in his mud. *sigh*
No need to shower when you like it “DIRT”y right Michael? Ok, up next we have Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III (born June 5, 1979), better known as Pete Wentz, who is an American musician best known for being the bassist and primary lyricist for the American rock band Fall Out Boy. Since the announcement of Fall Out Boy’s indefinite hiatus, Wentz has formed the experimental electropop group Black Cards. He owns a record label, Decaydance Records, which has signed bands such as Panic! at the Disco and Gym Class Heroes. He also likes to get naked and shit, and we love him for that:
Why is he stroking it? I dunno, maybe that is why he was the “Gym Class Hero?” We don’t care, because we have always been athletic supporters, right? Indeed we are winding down, but there are a couple left, check out Jared Victor Hennegan, better known by his stage name “Evil” Jared Hasselhoff (born August 5, 1971 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) is the bassist for the band The Bloodhound Gang. Now, JAKE WHEAT has always had a crush on Jared, and this is no lie – in fact, “I Wish He Was Queer” too! Check out the body on this Bloodhound, and remember kiddies…. we ain’t nothin’ but mammals! Yeah Jared, we can do it like they do on the Discovery Channel! mmmm.
Obviously there are many more rockers who have shown their packages to their fans without hesitation, but I think with these pics I have made my point – which is – that rock music needs to grow a pair again, and really get down to the pubic roots of the music. Fuck the industry, let’s get our dicks out and make some real fucking music! After all, if you don’t use it – you’re going to loose it!
ROCKING OUT WITH MY COCK OUT,
Jake A. Wheat