This year was “self-esteem” interrupted, somewhat, when multiple people started talking about how “blunt” I can be, and how some of them could not be friends with me on Facebook because of what people thought.  I took a moment to reflect back on 2012, and discovered that this happened about twice a month, give or take, which meant that I said something to offend someone at least 24 times.  What is my thoughts on this?

Yay.

You see people who are not themselves and cannot be themselves due to self imposed restrictions or “morals,” or some other reason are just playing a game.  They go through life playing house, work, and they play other things too – like life.  You never know what they are saying is true or false, and whether or not you are talking to the real side of them, or the fake one.  Their personas can switch at any time, for instance “don’t tell my Wife, and watch your teeth” can turn into, “don’t know any homos, and them gays shouldn’t be allowed to get married.”  They could be talking about “hitting a fatty at a whack party,” but then turn around and tell you that “we can’t hang out because I am your Supervisor at work.”  Listen, don’t be a dingleberry – it’s 2013, and we put our pants on the same way.

So in 2013 I vow to be controversial, funny, and perverted.  I vow to offend at least three people a month, and cause a shit storm of some kind.  I am going to mix and eat the weirdest combination of Jello flavors I can come up with, and maybe even go on a Jello only fast for a few months.  Maybe I’ll get a sucker tattooed on my forehead, so you can always have a reason to lick me… and if you think that is bad, perhaps you’d like to munch on the corn tattoo I’m getting on my butthole.

So be yourself this 2013, and stop whining about morals and all that other bullshit.  Life is too short, and if you’re not laughing you’re wasting everyone’s time and yours.

HAPPY NEW YEAR BITCHES,
JAKE

Posted from Greenwood, Indiana, United States.