Yesterday, we compiled our review information about the application “My Virtual Boyfriend,” and the threw out our thoughts on our experience across our round table. Most of us had the same experience, which was that the application seemed to be very juvenile, and the behavior of the “boyfriend” was sometimes so bi-polar that it was hard to “fall in love” with the character enough to want to have him “love you” by the end.

After my review, I received an email from the marketing team over at the “My Virtual Boyfriend” camp, and it wasn’t rude or mean – but I felt that they were defending a couple of key issues I want to address.

1. I stated that they offered to pay for the app for us to review, and indeed that is what they did.  It’s because that the app is for 17+ and they cannot offer a free promo code for it to be downloaded per iTunes policy.  I get it, thanks for sharing that, but either way we always pay for our review products (apps, suckers, stuffed toys, vibrators, zombie jerky…) because that is OUR policy.

2. The song.  The marketing team writes on their email to me….

The team [sic] song was a song made famous by the late – Poly Styrene. A famous UK singer that helped the punk rock movement of the 80′s. She did the song recently, but passed away earlier this year, shortly after she did the song. (not to be a Debbie downer), but, I had contacted the music label producer, who was a good friend of hers, and we both thought it suited the game well and would be a nice tribute to her. Thank you again .”

I (Jake Wheat) stated that the song was annoying, and it was because you had to listen to the same segments of it OVER AND OVER when the screens were loading various stages of the “game,” in between dealing with the lingo of “My Virtual Boyfriends” outrageous comments.

Ok listen, here is the video to the song, you be the judge and then take the poll… is it annoying or am I wrong?

[poll id="13"]

My apologies if the review came across as simply negative, but none of what was said was not heavily debated by a GROUP of people who played the game up to level 20.  The constant “pick up lines” were obnoxious, and when the character got angry he dealt some pretty low blows.  His body language suggested he was mimicking taking a swing or slapping someone, and frankly there is not enough emotional connectivity to make the game feel like that you are indeed “achieving love.”

The overall question is, would I recommend purchase?  This application caters to women and does not have a choice or a selection to do gay dating.  So, when the screen changes to one of our dates or activities and I see a woman cuddling with my man – I think to myself – how hard would it be to ask in the beginning, “gay or straight?”

Secondly, the developers have to admit that the way the virtual men speak is not commonplace language, and while some lines are comical, they continue for the entire game and do not progress into more “meaningful” or “realistic relationship” dialogue.

Thirdly, there are not enough levels.  Even with mini-games, and upcoming updates (which may ultimately improve the game dramatically) will it really matter if all the virtual boyfriend is saying is “Are you tired?  Cause you been runnin through my mind all night!”  Seriously?  Is this the sixth grade?

Do I think the application has potential in a market for the younger generation of people?  Sure.  Why not.  People love watching Jerry Springer, so why wouldn’t they love getting talked to by a cyber bi-polar delinquent as well?

Official Website: http://www.myvirtualboyfriendgame.com/

Sincerely,
(The) Jake A. Wheat

PS.  As you recall, we didn’t really get into the “Mini Boyfriends” application game either, because they were too freaking needy.  Maybe we just have relationship issues? Maybe we are just out of touch?