I asked my Friends on Facebook to ask me questions, and they did.  I promised I would answer them, and while AMUSING at best, I am going to be as honest as possible, so here goes nothing:

Q. What kind of creme is best for the “Jake Wheat itch”?
A. The kind of creme that you get when you suck on Jake Wheat for about 20 minutes, and it cures most everything.

Q. What do you really want deep down, more than anything else (that can happen realistically within this year)?
A. 1. To finish my book “The Bitterman” and get it on the shelves as my first graphic horror novel.  2. Deep down I want Vin Diesel or Manu Bennett, that is, deep down in me.

Q. What’s brown and rhymes with snoop?
A. (The answer was provided by the same person who asked the question, which is Dr. Dre.)  My answer is in the photo below, a brown coop with a satellite dish.

Q. Length or width?
A. Deep & wide… deep & wide… anything that fucks me deep & wide.  EVERYBODY SING!

Q. Did you really page Thelma 4 times
A. Yes, but I paged Louise 16 times but she was too busy blowing a trucker for Crystal Meth.  She is such a bitch!

Q. Are u happy?
A. Yes, I am very happy!  I am keeping my life stress free, and thank you for asking.  I love you!

If you have a question, then CONTACT ME… otherwise leave the answer to your imagination.  OK?

Solving Other People’s Mysteries,
Jake A. Wheat