Hey Boy, Ever Had Zombie Jerky?
Zeb and I practically grew up in them woods, and used to go up there to catch Bass for some good eats. Zeb said that the Goverment was moving in a testing facility near our fishing spot next to the lake, and then people started going missing around town.
First it was Susan Franklin, the town Librarian by day and the pub bartender by night. She wore two different hats, had two different sized breasts, and loved two different Men. Neither one of them knew about each other, but that didn’t matter. *Spit* Regardless, Susan Franklin was the first to go missing, and then turned up a few nights later walking down the road towards the High School drooling and chewing up anyone who got in her path. It was downright creepy, and so Zeb and I got our shotguns and blew her head clean off.
Pretty soon, Zeb and I had shot up near the whole town. It wasn’t cause we were crazy, it was because the people in the town were the walking dead. It was downright wrong, and for the record made me crap in my Copenhagen if you can believe that. Anyway, Zeb and I needed money, and so we took all them there Zombie bodies and roasted them with a teriyaki flavor, and scraped off as much of the green skin as we could. Some of the puss still remained, but it’s edible and damn delicious if ya ask me.
If ya don’t believe me then purchase a bag for yourself, and help support the clean up mission that me and Zeb started, and do your part to bite off a piece of some great townsfolk (or whats left of em), chew, and swallow. You can order some of that there Zombie jerky from the folks at ThinkGeek, and bone appa-titty!