It’s funny, I was never fixated on “21 Jump Street” when the original series aired on TV, but this movie was somehow appealing to me.  Oh call me a man-whore, or just uninterested in the other movies that were playing at the theater, I went to see “21 Jump Street” and I loved it. | IMDB

Jonah Hill (Schmidt) plays the role of a high school nerd turned police officer, while Channing Tatum (Jenko) plays the rather hunky high school jock/popular kid turned cop sidekick in this hilarious re-hash of the original series.  Eh, what do I know, I never really watched the original series.  What I do know is that Jonah Hill has done some major dieting and has dropped a shit ton of weight, and Channing Tatum was introduced into my life last night as my new cinema Husband.

Watching these two perform is almost magical, simply because they pull off the comedic timing necessary to make this movie duo work.  The characterization, role reversal undercover (more on that later), and the rather “lets make fun of the original while doing the remake) holds value which has kept the re-make cinema boom so popular.  Indeed, I care less about the plot line (although it was well done) and more about seeing Channing Tatum naked dancing above me like a rock hard marionette.  *sigh*

Ok, so the two guys go to high school together and are total opposites.  Jonah Hill geeks out and gets, for all intensive purposes, bullied by Channing Tatum until they graduate and get on the police force.  Tatum is unable to pass the tests necessary to make the force, and Hill needs some athletic guidance.  They both marry each other in friendship, and vow to help each other become cops on the beat.

Then end up on bikes patrolling the park, and they meet destiny when they try to pedal their way after some biker dudes who they busted smoking marijuana.  This brings me to one of my favorite scenes in the film:

Jenko: I’ll beat your fucking dick off!
Domingo: [Looks surprised] You want to beat my dick off?
Jenko: Right here both hands!
Schmidt: I think what he means is that he will punch you so many times around the genital region that your dick will fall off.

If only I was Domingo…. if…. only.  *sigh*  So they fuck up the bust and end up going to the Jumpstreet division where some kids are doing drugs, and Channing Tatum continues to look hot.  Channing Tatum basically looks hot, and Jonah Hill is funny and they are cops, and Channing Tatum looks hot.

Sorry, back on track.

Fuck, I got distracted.  Where was I?

Ok, so they are in High School (again) as undercover cops and there is a new kind of drug there that looks like a wheat cracker with poop on it.  It basically goes through phases of a hallucinogenic effect, which makes the movie  more interesting when the two are forced to take a hit by the “school dealer” who is more like an organic geektard named Eric Molson (Dave Franco).  Ice Cube (Captain Dickson) wants the guys of Jump Street to get to the dealer, and then find the supplier to make the bust.

Things of course go wrong, especially when Hill befriends the Molson kid, and Tatum feels left out because he is forced to hang out with the chemistry nerds.  Oh yeah, I forgot…. Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum have to take the drug.  It’s funny, let them tell you about it:

Anyway… after they get in good Hill and Molson (Franco) end up partnering up to sell the shit cracker drugs and make major money, which is all in a scheme by Hill to get to the supplier.  Tatum and the nerds hijack Franco’s phone, and aim to do surveillance on the “cool kids” with Hill (because he is excluded) and Tatum hears a conversation by Hill about Tatum being stupid.

Channing… Hill is such a bad friend to you in this movie, come here and lay on my lap while I stroke your hair and you can cry.  I know, there there…. it’s ok.

After Tatum and I have sex, then Hill and Tatum rejoin in the movie and begin …. well, they end up getting expelled from school and then end up saving the day with some rather interesting (and sweet moments) which I loved.  It’s a good comedy to go see, and better than some of the other shitty remakes that have been pumped out here lately.  Personally, the cameos in the movie are a classy (albeit) shocking touch which I loved – and if you like movie surprises, this is one that you will jailhouse rock you.

Canning Tatum why are you a greek god?  What movie?  I am done with the movie review thing, and just want to look at Channing again.  Fuck the review…..

I have never wanted to be a tape measure so bad in my life.  Anyway, so if you get the chance head out to the local movie house and shove that popcorn between your legs.  It’s a good movie, worth the money, and you won’t be disappointed…. even if you aren’t sexually attracted to Channing Tatum.

Traitor.

After doing some Google homework about Tatum, I discovered (probably late) that he was a male stripper, and yes he has nude online pics which you can view (click here to view full post if they don’t show below):

[Show as slideshow]

[View with PicLens]

Building Another Altar In My Bedroom,
Jake A. Wheat