Yes, in approximately one week (7 days) my birthday is going to be here, and (again) I will be turning 21 years old. Yes, every year I turn (again) 21, and this year is no exception. My real age is between and my Mother, and that is about it…. unless some punk who knows my actual age decides to spill it – upon which I request a plague of locusts to eat off their flesh, or for them to be subjected to bad musical theatre.
Many people around this time of year ask me what my birthday wishes are, and then I have to sit and think “johnny on the spot” about what I want, and it becomes a nightmare. This year I am super prepared to deal with birthday wish requests, which range from the “I am a friend and just want you to be happy,” to “I am buying you something cool.” Here is my list of available birthday wish options:
1. If you are just a friend, who is on a budget (like me) then you don’t want to go shopping at all. Yet, you have a huge heart and wish nothing more than for me to survive yet another year so that I can (again) turn 21. Therefore, my wish for you is to sign up to receive text message notifications from me periodically throughout the year from my website. No, I do not blast them to you every day. I do it very rarely actually, and it’s one of those things where it has to be something of super importance for me to use….. and only I can use it. So, if you want to do something cheap and nice for me – then use the form (in sidebar to your left) to join my text message list. I will NOT give out your info to anyone, and I will not blow up your phone.
2. For those more adventurous folks, I am still gunning for Manu Bennett to “Friend Me” on his personal Facebook page. Alas, this would be one of my ultimate wishes. How would one go about seeing this wish fulfilled?
B. Contact him through his agent, and let them know of my wishes! His agent is here.
C. Invite Manu Bennett to come to my house and have cake & ice cream! Indeed.
3. More adventurous folks may want to spend money on me, and that is super sweet! I am a huge fan of ThinkGeek.com, and so if you wish you can check out my WISHLIST and get me something from there! I always add to it, because if I had a million dollars I would own pretty much one of their entire inventory list. VIEW MY WISHLIST!
4. Word peace & love. Just send me an email and tell me that you love me! If you figure out a way to obtain world peace, then let me know that as well.
5. Last, but not least, donate to help pay for my web server & offset web costs! I use Paypal, and that account is used to pay for web hosting and other web related expenses. You can donate here…. if you wish.
Special thanks to all my friend and fans for their birthday wishes, and for the record please note that either way I love all of you.
Cake Is Fattening, I’ll Have A Birthday Salad,
Jake A. Wheat
My short story “Furieux” is available now on Amazon.com in paperback, and you can get it for $8.99! It’s a cheap thrill which will have you partying like a rock star, and stroking more than just guitar strings!
Ryan “Furieux” was number one on the charts, until one morning his “accidental” death makes headlines. As millions mourn his passing, Derek Holton, Furieux’s secret lover, reflects on their shocking relationship together. The media has a field day, and Derek ends up revealing all…..however, nothing is what it seems in the world of fame, fortune, and rock & roll. (18+ Gay Adult Erotic Fiction)
It’s a short piece of work, but one that has sold to my readers and has received many compliments! Indeed, I enjoy the idea of having a “rock star” romance, and blending in the pressure of being famous makes this story even more interesting. In it’s simplicity, the public eye and the private lifestyle of those in the limelight clash – and it makes for a very realistic perspective on romance.
While this book may not be for everyone (gay sex, graphic scenes) – it does have a strong message that should be sent to all people out there who are “in the closet” but “in the spotlight,” and that is that being hidden only hurts the gay community. Being OUT and proud of who you are means that you are able to provide a positive image and be a role model to those who need the same strength in their normal lives.
Again, I am an advocate for people to be able to be “themselves,” and not an advocate for people who are held down by bigotry. While this story may have a surrealistic romantic feel to it, I tend to think it lends more to giving up everything to start over. It stand for being able to change your life to be able to finally live freely, and to enjoy life as you want.
It stands up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. | CHECK IT OUT!
Rocking OUT Forever,
Jake A. Wheat
OMG! IS THIS A SECRET CONFESSION? AM I HAVING AN AFFAIR? WHO IS THIS STRAIGHT FRIEND THAT I AM HAVING SEX WITH?
**Watches all my straight friends cringe and get all defensive**
Relax gents, I am speaking of a short story which appears in my book “The Spaghetti Seduction,” which has a short story about a guy who’s “straight best friend” comes back from “basic training” and confesses that he needs some “male bonding” time. It’s a creative twist to the ever popular pizza delivery guy or the “plumber,” who accidentally drops a pipe wrench or “requires an extra tip.”
Indeed I have a lot of straight guy friends who I would never want to sleep with, but indeed the story has a interesting subculture and “idealistic” following that sleeping with one who is straight vs. gay can ultimately meet some weird achievement. It’s kinda like someone working for a “Mayor” badge on Foursquare, and being able to claim that “check-in” on their straight friend’s crotch. (I just laughed out loud….) I prefer to not screw up my friendships with straight guys by screwing them, but that is just me.
Anyway, so my short story in my book called “How To Feed A Hungry Soldier,” got some fan mail that made it’s way into reality. It seems that a gay reader of my work had his straight best friend come back from Iraq, confessed his love for him, and now they are a cute little couple. While I asked for a pic of the two for my blog via. a public response to a collection of emails that I answered from “fans,” I got a reply with a pic – but was asked not to post it.
I can say this, wow. Both of you guys are adorable, and I wish you both the best! Thank you for the kind words regarding my story, and I hope you both have some fun adventures like the two did in my book! xoxo
As for you folks, you can read “How To Feed A Hungry Soldier,” and other stories in my book “The Spaghetti Seduction!” Click here to order, and remember folks – it’s for ADULTS ONLY!
Going To Join The Military,
Jake A. Wheat
Dreaming for me is very vivid. I find that not only am I in control (most of the time) in my dreams, but they play out like feature films with musical soundtracks, strange transitional cuts, and even – yes – credits. I have no idea why, but when I am lucky enough to have these types of dreams I think about them all day, and they remain fairly vivid until they fade away. One thing I hate about dreaming is that sometimes you wake up and the “memory” or “recall” of those dream details which are so vivid disappear, and so I decided I would attempt to document them – and also share how crazy my dreams are at times.
This one is called “Evil New Home,” and stars me with a cast of a lot of people who are in my life, including my partner Craig – and the rest of my family. It also guest stars a few of my friends, and a lot of oddball people I have never met before in my life.
The dream started out with me learning about a new house that was for rent that was incredibly large, and when I say large I am talking a “haunted mansion” style home – old Victorian style, and for only $475.00 a month. It seemed like a steal, and so I signed the lease and took a tour of the place before the “old woman”" who lived there moved out.
The house was lovely, including one room which was like a rock climbing wall, only with real rocks. To get upstairs from the downstairs in this room, you had to scamper up this wall of rocks, which was as difficult as trying to do it in a video game – where you can “jump on the wall a certain way” to get up it, but you couldn’t climb it directly. Anyway, the basement had a large series of rooms, including a really nice kitchen area, and a lot of fun gadgets and gizmos for serving food. The old lady who took me on a tour of “her old home” explained to me that one of the rooms in her basement was her sewing room, and it was in a dark back room with very little light.
When I moved in, and the “old lady” disappeared into wherever land – I had a party. The basement was a place for me to serve all kinds of food, and literally people I hadn’t seen in 20 years showed up. I lived in a place in Louisville, according to my dream, which was right across the street from the Kentucky Derby Museum, and fans of the Kentucky Derby would flock outside of my home to take tram rides – upon which would pass my front driveway – and people would peer in with excitement. Strange.
The party that I was throwing included bikers, gang members, and of course people from my family. As the night moved forward, I basically was yearning for some quiet downtime, and wanted nothing more than to enjoy peace and quiet in my new large mansion for $475.00 a month – but people were everywhere from the party. Of course, that fizzled out and the people who remained were the immediate members of my family who, for the most part, helped me unpack my house – and to explore the many rooms which had hidden secrets.
One of the secrets which I found most interesting was that it came with some “left behind” items, including my very own “mummy” corpse. Yes folks, a decayed “Egyptian type” mummy was just hanging out at my house, and was basically propped up in various places like a piece of decor, until I could find the perfect spot to put him. The corpse was foreshadowing the idea that the “cheap” rental home had a reason for being so cheap, but this is where my dream pulled a cinematic classic technique, and placed a “dream within a dream.” Indeed, while sleeping in the house in my dream, I had a dream that I lived in the house before, with a friend – and the house was very haunted. In fact, the house was so haunted, it was dangerous to live there…. end of story.
Waking up, people were unpacking in my house, and I was asking my family if they believed the house was haunted, and one of my family members stated “yes, I believe this old house is probably haunted.” I felt insecure in this home, and that statement didn’t make me feel safe, in fact it made me feel like I was being invaded – which meant that someone had to try to break in to my new house.
Cue this guy coming into my house from no where, and his kid running around as well basically looking to rent it. I told him I had already rented it, but he refused to leave, and then finally for some reason (I can’t remember what I said to make him leave) he did. This is when things started to get a bit frightening and surrealistic. Remember, this is a haunted house, and so loud “booms, bangs, and noises” would come from other rooms. A large shadow darted out from one of the rooms and up the stairs, and I grabbed some fingernail clippers, and used the sharp end of the “nail file” to begin stabbing at the ghost, which turned into a little kid. Strangely enough, I felt liberated because I was able to “kill the ghost,” but indeed we all know that is pretty stupid because ghosts (albeit in theory) are already dead.
The little boy ghost wasn’t really a little boy, but a large being with no visible body and was very very dark. This thing haunted me in my dream basically chasing me into rooms throughout my gigantic house, until I was in the basement in the old ladies “sewing room,” which was now empty. On the wall was little wooden shelves, which you could place things like yarn or spools of thread. Indeed, you can guess what was in them now – human parts, and inside of the walls on the other side in concrete were “dead people” which were halfway cemented into the walls. I was also locked in this room, and my phone (which starred my new Android phone) had a dead battery, and shut down while trying to get a signal out to call for help.
I was alone in this house with a bunch of dead things, and a very evil ghost – so there was only one thing to do right? I broke open the door, and began to climb the rock “mountain” to the upstairs floor, but the “rock mountain” was too difficult, and I ended up not being able to climb it. Somehow, however, I did end up back upstairs and was still with family and they were about to leave and go home.
I didn’t want them to leave, because I was basically scared to be in the big giant $475.00 rental home by myself, and didn’t want to be all freaked out. In my dreams I also have “alternate camera angles,” and so I did get a few “shots” of the outside of the house while I was stuck inside, and frankly the house was so huge and made me feel so vulnerable, that I could not believe I was actually committed to live there.
This is where things get even crazier….. because I end up trying to go to sleep, and all I can do is listen to the haunted banging and clanging and wait for the big ghost thing to come “get” me. Of course, one large bang and I am running down the hallway, and end up back in the basement where I am back in the sewing room, and there is that mummy propped on a chair looking like a kid from school. There is a half eaten sucker in his mummy hand, and he is smiling really big.
In his lap is a photo album, and there is a family there with a large man (Father), and a woman (younger version of the old lady), and a little boy, and a little girl. The little boy is in the same outfit in the photo as the mummy in the room with me, and is also eating a sucker. The little girl is grinning menacingly, and has on a blue dress, and carrying my devil sock monkey stuffed animal (see pic on this page) - which causes a climatic musical soundtrack, and then the people trapped in the walls of concrete turn out to be the little boy, the old lady (she didn’t move after all and was killed and sealed up in the wall halfway), the Father – and wait… where was the little girl?
The door to the sewing room blows off the hinges, and there she is in all of her rotted glory. The girl is carrying my devil doll and smiling with this horrid grimacing smile, which still makes me uneasy – a nice nightmarish visual. She walks towards me and starts to tell me about how I moved into HER house, and that “I should have learned the first time,” and that “she was going to make me a part of this house forever.” The wall crumbles, as more corpses begin to fall out of the concrete wall (yeah, I know … geeze) and into the floor. This, in my mind, is giving her a place for her to seal me up in the wall and I really have no way to escape. The hole in the wall appears to have a hole on the other side as well – so when the concrete wall broke open, it was like a tunnel. I went into the hole, and got to the back where the exit was supposed to be, but it was glassed in. I couldn’t get out.
The little girl corpse came into the hole, and from behind her it started to close up, and it filled with cement until she was right up against my face with her menacing grin and huge teeth – and she and I were basically very close together encased in concrete.
The credits began.
Nightmares are an interesting phenomena to me, and I often hear of people who have nightmares where “I am being chased,” or “I fall from a window,” but I have never heard of one which is cinematic or has a intricate plot. Does anyone else share this type of dreaming? Do any dream interpretation experts out there want to give a crack at this dream?
Post your comments below, and let me know your thoughts.
Sealed In Concrete With A Devil Girl,
Jake A. Wheat
Someone once said that “music forms the soundtrack to our lives,” and for me (Jake Wheat) that could not be more true. Sometimes I get stuck on one song over and over (as you will see) and sometimes my genres bounce around like Tigger on a sugar high. Either way, I love to explore the vast world of music and I love finding new songs that express in melody and words what my life is about.
Here are just a few of my favorite bands, in no particular order according to my LastFM.com charts! Of course, my favorite tracks can be found here – however, please be advised that I am not sure how often this updates because I have rocked the hell out of more tracks than just Jordin Sparks’s “Battlefield,” not that that song doesn’t totally jam…. geeze.
Become friends with me on LastFM.com, because I love to meet new people and talk about music! The only thing I will not tolerate is people making fun of my musical choices, because I am very diverse in what I listen to. I am not all about music that sugar coats the brain, and I love everything from Classical to Country…. and if you have comments about that, or anything you see in my charts, I am sure you will let me know. :) | LastFM Library (Partial)
Jake A. Wheat
PS. I am also on Audiogalaxy as well…. for you AG users!